Reunion

I couldn't fight fear Thursday morning as I prepared to reunite with the little ones. I was worried about whether or not they knew I had come back...whether they would be excited or play ignorance...whether or not every worry in every thought would come true. Breaking my pacing feet and racing mind, I see Rachel Langefels. She and her husband are the assistant directors of the Children's home, familiar faces and blessings of friends for me here. Our greeting was wonderful and much needed.

The kids won't stop asking where's Tita May-gone? When is she coming? Rachel said to me. Relief and refreshment rushed over me, taking away heaviness that should never have been on my heart. I know how much of a vulnerability I have, it's hard to displace that target and name it what it is. I decided to act on my new found excitement and confidence quickly before disbelief swept in for the kill...I made my first steps toward the Children's Home.

The gate was slightly opened, the angle I stood at allowed no one to see me and allowed me a few extra seconds to breathe in...out...in...out...enter. I realize that not one picture would have been possible for me to take because my hands, arms, back, ankles, legs, neck were tied up; and I also realize that my recollection of this is far more grand than pictures I could have attempted to take, but I do wish somehow I could share this picture with you. Old smiles, new haircuts, old jokes, new faces. Destiny was in this reunion.

The little miracle babies, Daniel and Jacob, have grown in size, in hair length and in number of sprouting teeth. They are wonderfully delightful and accepting the fact that their days with us at the children's home will soon be numbered is painful. All the kids have grown, in fact. Cyryl and Princess Aya went home while I was away as well. Princess Aya, who would grab your cheeks, look you in the eyes and say, you are very beautiful, but you will never be as beautiful as me. The two sisters went back to their home in Boracay with their mother who had loved them enough to surrender them for three years, only in hopes to better their lives. A sad thought on the surface, but the depth of selflessness that must have entailed is incredible. The social workers are too good for our own good...whether it be finding and reuniting lost and broken families or lining up the adoption process properly. It is a hard celebration to cheer for, although it is ultimately what we're here for.

School starts Tuesday and I had my first teachers training today. The path has quickly transformed into a lush, green jungle. On both the left and the right of the narrow way to school, gorgeous, rain-derived life has sprung. I am compelled to say, as cliche as it may be, this was a metaphorical picture for me to see of the upcoming school year and all newness God has in store.

I find myself worrying by wondering if the kids will accept and approve or if I'm really fit for this role I've entered into. I should, and pray I will, learn more deeply the truth in faith without seeing. I am thankful that the Lord blessed me like He did with this reunion I never could've imagined, even despite the worry or distraction. Fear swept clean by either quick or long awaited relief reminds me of and refocuses me to my Audience of One. Worry, change, growth, loss, newness...all for Glory.