Reunion
I couldn't fight fear Thursday morning as I prepared to reunite with the little ones. I was worried about whether or not they knew I had come back...whether they would be excited or play ignorance...whether or not every worry in every thought would come true. Breaking my pacing feet and racing mind, I see Rachel Langefels. She and her husband are the assistant directors of the Children's home, familiar faces and blessings of friends for me here. Our greeting was wonderful and much needed.
The kids won't stop asking where's Tita May-gone? When is she coming? Rachel said to me. Relief and refreshment rushed over me, taking away heaviness that should never have been on my heart. I know how much of a vulnerability I have, it's hard to displace that target and name it what it is. I decided to act on my new found excitement and confidence quickly before disbelief swept in for the kill...I made my first steps toward the Children's Home.
The gate was slightly opened, the angle I stood at allowed no one to see me and allowed me a few extra seconds to breathe in...out...in...out...enter. I realize that not one picture would have been possible for me to take because my hands, arms, back, ankles, legs, neck were tied up; and I also realize that my recollection of this is far more grand than pictures I could have attempted to take, but I do wish somehow I could share this picture with you. Old smiles, new haircuts, old jokes, new faces. Destiny was in this reunion.
The little miracle babies, Daniel and Jacob, have grown in size, in hair length and in number of sprouting teeth. They are wonderfully delightful and accepting the fact that their days with us at the children's home will soon be numbered is painful. All the kids have grown, in fact. Cyryl and Princess Aya went home while I was away as well. Princess Aya, who would grab your cheeks, look you in the eyes and say, you are very beautiful, but you will never be as beautiful as me. The two sisters went back to their home in Boracay with their mother who had loved them enough to surrender them for three years, only in hopes to better their lives. A sad thought on the surface, but the depth of selflessness that must have entailed is incredible. The social workers are too good for our own good...whether it be finding and reuniting lost and broken families or lining up the adoption process properly. It is a hard celebration to cheer for, although it is ultimately what we're here for.
School starts Tuesday and I had my first teachers training today. The path has quickly transformed into a lush, green jungle. On both the left and the right of the narrow way to school, gorgeous, rain-derived life has sprung. I am compelled to say, as cliche as it may be, this was a metaphorical picture for me to see of the upcoming school year and all newness God has in store.
I find myself worrying by wondering if the kids will accept and approve or if I'm really fit for this role I've entered into. I should, and pray I will, learn more deeply the truth in faith without seeing. I am thankful that the Lord blessed me like He did with this reunion I never could've imagined, even despite the worry or distraction. Fear swept clean by either quick or long awaited relief reminds me of and refocuses me to my Audience of One. Worry, change, growth, loss, newness...all for Glory.
I am here!
I have officially arrived in Manila, Philippines. My flight and all transitions were wonderfully smooth. I was attacked by giddiness...sorry if the words "I was attacked" scared anyone...when the vehicle pulled into Cuatro Community, I figure that is a good sign.
My roommate, Daisy, will be returning to Manila tomorrow. I am excited to see her again, quickly catch up, and move forward together into this next year. I will also see the children tomorrow...bright and early. As I typed that out, my heart danced. I figure that, too, is a good sign. And lastly, on my way to see the children, I will be walking through Cuatro Community once again. I replay what their shout-outs and hugs were like only in remembrance now. But tomorrow morning I will be reliving those blessings in living, beautiful color.
Only one thing went wrong today and I haven't yet let myself get too far down about it. There will be no picture updates quite yet, for I have left my camera on the airplane in Tokyo, Japan. That is both a prayer request and a just-so-you-know. A sad one.
I am wide awake, ready to eat lunch...but it is one in the morning. So I am on my way to force myself to sleep now.
Much love from Manila!
1 Peter 5:6-11
1 Peter 5:6-11
Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of sufferings are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
On the plane, six hours have gone by. An entire day on this slightly cushioned, foot-and-a-half by foot-and-a-half seat is not the most comfortable day ever spent. My neighbor, 52-J, and I haven’t quite figured out how to share these armrests. That gets awkward. I am feeling a bit fidgety and anxious at this point…this halfway point. That is where I’m at.
Having my previous trip behind me, travel logistics included, helped a lot with the inevitable anxieties that come hand-in-hand with anticipation. I could follow whatever memory I had left of the route I took just five months ago, taking the same venture. Print ticket…check luggage…security…finally making it to gate G-4 after wonderful and tearful goodbyes. Bittersweet goodbyes. I sat among the same vast sea of Filipinos that flooded this same gate in January. An extremely large group of Filipino students were crowded together in several different cliques and huddles. Parents sat watching their kids run around, weaving in and out of each and every chair in each and every row…their last chance to embrace the somewhat open area before the first plane ride of twelve hours. Their last chance to exhaust their soon to be confined children. A group of about fifteen all wore neon green t-shirts and walked around together. They basically sum up the Americans on this flight. I boarded, fighting how surreal it all felt, found 52-H, sought and found help with my overly heavy carry-on, and settled into this slightly cushioned, foot-and-a-half by foot-and-a-half seat.
‘On the plane.’ I text my mom. I look up from hitting the Send button on my phone, and Jeff Long was walking down the aisle of the plane. Jeff Long, the Director of the Children’s home and all of Kids International Ministries, who I had no idea would be on this flight. He stopped, as did most of the plane, when I shouted, JEFF!?! But he was not walking to say hello to me. He was walking to greet the neon green t-shirt group because they are all on their way to Manila. More specifically, they are all on their way to Cuatro Community for two weeks on a short-term missions trip, serving alongside Kids International Ministries. I could have cried when I saw Jeff…it wouldn’t have been hard seeing as my emotions were and still are shaken just from leaving. Instead, I just laughed. I had to be confident in travel logistics from Minneapolis to Tokyo, Tokyo to Manila. I was, too…but lightly put, those neon green t-shirts are nice checkpoints to have. And a bus is picking up them, Jeff Long, and me in Manila on June 11, 2008 at 10:50 p.m.
All seventeen of us.
It will be impossible for me to get lost.
I watched the first movie of the trip, What To Do If We Crash, located my nearest exit (keeping in mind that it could be behind me), checked my buckle, and watched the life size Land of the Free momentarily turn to Lego set size. I turned on my iPod and reveled, once again, in the ways of the Lord.
My first Blog when I arrive in Manila will again be a tale of the very first miracle in the very first moments of my journey…unexpected as always. Glory, glory , glory…as always.
Restore.
Confirm.
Strengthen.
Establish.
To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
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